Instant messenger. For business purposes only.

JE/... Bonjour, Olivia. Est-ce que vous visitez chez moi on mardi (demain)?
OP/... bonjour oboejane. Oui, bien sur! Si c'est possible?
JE/... Oui.
JE/... Nous carvons les pumpkins ce soir
JE/... et aussi glenn achetes des provisions
JE/... Vous portez les vetements fancy?
OP/... OUI, bien sur
OP/... Qu'est ce que nous devons porter avec nous?
JE/... Um... peut etre vous portez quelque chose pour dessert?
OP/... oui, oui, des jambes des grenouilles avec sucre?
JE/... C'est bon?
OP/... je ne sais pas.
JE/... Nous avons beaucoups des escargots au jardin.
JE/... Peut etre nous harvestons?
OP/... oui oui
JE/... Ou aussi il y a beaucoup des enfants pres de chez nous. Peut etre nous choppons les doigts?
OP/... Bon idee. j'aime beaucoup des doigts roti
JE/... Glenn fait le cuisine tres complex pour demain. Vous aimez les chiens chaud? Avec oignon et aussi des pois de mush?
OP/... seulement si ils sont des chiens reale
JE/... Ca depends - il cherche les chiens aujourd-hui. Si il ne les trouves, nous mangerons les faux chiens demain.
OP/... ok

Isn't it a lovely day?

We just went for a walk to collect rosehips. I have a plan to turn them into rosehip syrup, which can be used for making cordial or a soothing hot drink blah blah blah. Or, according to last weekend's paper, can be also used for making martinis. Now you're talking.

Last night, we went to the Liphook Carnival. This is very similar to the Notting Hill carnival, but with less knife crime and no non-white faces (this being deepest home counties). Apart from the blacked-up faces on the "Out of Africa" float. Is it just me, but hasn't blacking up been (rightly) unacceptable for the last 20 years? When did it become "amusing" again?

So, ok, not exactly like Notting Hill. And there are only about 10 floats. And the only people dancing were a collection of very self-conscious brownies.

It was odd that it wasn't even slightly cold. When we were little, we used to have to wrap up in every garment we owned (tights under trousers, vests, t-shirts, jumpers, duffel coats, scarfs, gloves, hats) and would STILL get cold.

Big skies

Looking through the thumbnails of the holiday snaps, I noticed that unless you enlarge them, all the pictures look absolutely the same:

• big sky
• rolling green hills
• sweaty personage wearing blue

So I can't be bothered to load them up (not least because my internet connection here is reeeaalllllyyyyy slllloooooooowwwwww). You'll just have to close your eyes and imagine big sky, rolling green hills, and - well, I'd leave out the sweaty lycra louts if I were you.

We're having a hallowe'en party next tuesday. I know, I know. Commercialised American nonsense etc etc. But since we always end up with little hoodie scum in pound-shop plastic masks demanding sweets with menaces, we figured we would be prepared this time. And get drunk on green drinks with eyeballs in them.

My normal hallowe'en routine involves forgetting to buy any sweets, and then hiding in the dark at home so that they think I'm out (and therefore hopefully don't egg the car after rejecting my offers of wasabe peas and cashew nuts - which are the most "treat"-like items I can find, usually)

Hadrian's tarmac road

As you can see, we got a bit of sunshine (in a slanty northern way) and we wore a lot of blue.

Scabby McScab

Am back from my fabulous holiday pedalling along the Hadrian's Wall cycleway. It was really tremendous. I fell off twice (once before I even set off, and then once again outside Carlisle) and so am covered in wounds (two on my left elbow, one on my left knee, big one along each shin, and a big scrape/bruise combo on my right hip), which (as Rach would say) are WOUNDERFUL.

In addition, before we went up to Newcastle to begin the ride, I spent a weekend rehearsing and playing concerts in East Anglia with the Tallis Orchestra.

It was a glorious 8 mile off-road bike ride between where we were staying (Southwold, with our friend Annie who likes wine, cheese and singing - hurrah!) and the village where we were rehearsing. So this broke us in gently before the big ride in the North. More on that at a later date. May even post some pictures...

Three discoveries

The charming town of Feltham has been extensively redeveloped over the last year or so (see Wiki commentary on the subject, or possibly the developer's site if you are sitting somewhere that snorts of laughter would not get you in trouble).

The "anchor tenant", after M&S, Waitrose/John Lewis, Sainsbury's, Tesco all failed to bite the developer's hand off, is a large 24hr Asda.

Discovery #1: After a number of totally futile expeditions to the Asda store (I know Walmart is the devil's own grocery store, but going there saves getting in the car - swings and roundabouts, you see?), during which I formed the impression that it ONLY catered to the Wotsits-n-Sunny-D market, I have now discovered that it stocks the following:

• Pumpkins (labelled as "culinary pumpkins" to avoid seasonal confusion with the "scary" sort)
• Rice wine vinegar (hurrah!) and other Japanese products
• An extensive range of imported Irish goods (Barry's tea, top-o-the-mornin jam, etc)

Discovery #2: Up until yesterday, this was the only retail development in the entire UK (I reckon, anyway) that did NOT have some kind of Starbucks/Costa/Nero. I did not think of this as a particularly bad thing, mind you - more of a social indicator. But no more: we now have "BBs" (nope, I've never heard of it either).

Discovery #3: Special K appears to now be sharing a production line with Frosties. In its naked form (i.e. without milk), it is now tooth-bendingly sweet. I had not noticed this before since I normally only eat it with milk. But last night I ate it out of the packet as I walked home from the supermarket...

Was it worth it?

I did the Nike 10k yesterday. I can't tell you what time I got because apparently my microchip malfunctioned and did not record a time for me. So that was really worth the £25 entry fee, wasn't it?

In a way, it is good that the time was not recorded, since I happen to know that it was somewhere just above "sloth-like" (influenced, no doubt, by the upturn in drinking activity and downturn in running activity that I have experienced recently). But I did run all the way without stopping, so that's something to be grateful for. (My knees don't quite agree, but I think we shall choose to ignore them.)

Second reason to be pleased that my chip was not recognised: the Nike website has video recordings of each person's finish that can be freely accessed by the general public. But not mine. Hurrah and double hurrah! My stumbling sweaty-faced shame remains PRIVATE!!!

Busy week

As you can tell, my first week at the Department of Health has been a busy one - hence limited posts. So far this week I have learned:

• "Jaffa cakes contain lots of energy but only 1g of fat. That is why they are recommended by sports nutritionists" (this particular piece of information was gleaned from the back of the pack).
• This season, the smart professional lady will be wearing dog-tooth check; red, particularly on Fridays; tailoring; bias-cut skirts; velvet; fur trim. Although hopefully not all at once.
• Young men from Haslemere are the most unpleasant creatures on earth (based upon a survey sample of one).
• What happened to Mrs Casaubon and Mr Ladislaw.

I hope next week is as profitable.

Rather depressing

One of the people on my team has only recently qualified as an accountant. Prior to that, he was a professional 'cellist with a top UK orchestra. On a salary of £19k. Isn't that depressing?

Sunday ironing

Advice: never watch a subtitled film whilst ironing.

Sushi

In the end, rather than marmite on toast (not that there's anything wrong with marmite on toast, mind you. One of my favourite things, in fact), I made sushi for The Great Homecoming Dinner.

I've never made sushi at home before, but over the years I have received a lot of sushi-making paraphanelia as birthday presents. People have obviously recognised that my personality is well suited to this occupation (patience, picky attention to detail etc), and I have finally come round to it.

I began the day with a trip to the fishmonger in Twickenham. This fishmonger normally has a queue out the door and down the road by mid-morning on a Saturday. Previously I thought that this was because it was very popular. Having been there, I now think it more likely that it is because the well-meaning young lads behind the counter are almost entirely inept, bless their little cotton socks. And only one of them is qualified to use sharp knives. However, I was there early enough to be served and out of the shop within a reasonable 20 minutes or so, armed with four different types of fish (and many less £s).

There were lots of laborious preparations for the sushi-making: the mackerel needed to be salted and then marinaded in rice vinegar; the bass needed to be scalded with hot water to soften the skin; the shiitake (sp?) mushrooms needed soaking and then simmering in stock; the sushi rice had to be boiled and then dressed and stirred until cold. I had also planned on cooking a bit of Japanese omelette and tempura prawns, but at that rate we'd have been eating around midnight, so I just moved on to the assembly phase.

There is only one thing you need to know about assembling sushi: the rice sticks to everything. The worktop, your hands, the knife. And then when you reach for the topping, bits of it stick to new areas on the worktop, up your elbows, on the taps, the teatowels. Once you have reconciled yourself to spending the rest of your life picking bits of rice out of your hair, the whole process is quite enjoyable. My first effort (an inside-out spicy tuna roll) turned out okay-ish. Quite scruffy, particularly after I tried to slice it. But a bit of tidying up made it at least recognisable.

The second effort was a maki roll (the thin sort with just one stick of filling down the middle). My first attempt was over-full of rice and therefore the seaweed wouldn't meet. And when I tried to pick some of the rice out it got stuck to my fingers, the rolling mat, the clingfilm etc etc. (Are you sensing a theme, here?) Anyway, after the second maki roll, I was on a roll myself you might say. I ended up making about 40 pieces of sushi in all. I did derive a certain satisfaction from surveying my handiwork. Viewed en masse, it was possible to overlook the wierdy falling-apart and wonky bits and enjoy the overall effect. Most pleasing.