busy sunday

got up at 5am (finishing a report - gosh but i work so much more efficiently in the morning but there's always that spice of danger that you'll run out of time...), had eggy bread (mmm), did some washing, ironed my hair (useless - still looked stupid), emailed the report to bob, went to richmond for brunch with roland and tim, accidentally bought some silly jewelled sandals, had rubbish food (they could do a full breakfast that included mushrooms, but they couldn't do mushrooms on toast) followed by a very nice juice (carrot, beetroot, ginger, apple) in the rain, talked about jane austen, went for afternoon tea at the four seasons with very pregnant julia and treehorn my old desk buddy from work, sipped champagne, ate five ridiculous tiny sandwiches and a scone with mountains of clotted cream, drank a whole pot of lapsang souchong, caught a train, got stuck outside clapham (signals struck by lightning), ran round richmond park, bumped into someone from work (eek how embarrassing, red face, tight-fitting lycra), ran home from richmond (ooch ouch starting to hurt), collapsed like a dead thing, had a sleepy (hopefully he couldn't tell) chat with bob about the report, read two pages of my book (One Good Turn by Kate Atkinson*) and slept like a zombie.

*recommended, but read Case Histories first.

Your mission....

... should you happen to live in Scotland (anyone? anyone?) is to visit the below-mentioned attraction (featured in an article entitled Top 10 eccentric British days out in today's Guardian) and review it for Entertainment / Economy purposes:

Sharmanka
Mechanically minded Russian sculptor Eduard Bersudsky has set about establishing a cast of clanking and spinning contraptions at Glasgow's Sharmanka Kinetic Theatre: a darkened room, stuffed to bursting with performing machines that meld Russian and Scottish folklore with an understated social and political commentary, all to the accompaniment of an eclectic musical soundtrack. It is as unusual as it is unnerving, a mysterious toymaker's midnight workshop. This is the unpredictable stuff of dreams, and not necessarily nice ones, the sort that keep you clutching the sheets, wide eyed, nervous of what sleep might bring.
14 King St (Second Floor), Glasgow, G1 5HD. Tel: +44 (0)141 5527080

I eagerly await the results.

Did I mention that I booked myself a facial when I was in Edinburgh? The best bit was the massage chair - a huge padded recliner that inflated around you and then moved about like it was full of rats.

Much fun was had at the weekend. The sleeper train was pretty good. Although I was disappointed that, unlike my mother in years gone by, I was not able to stick my feet out of the window at Crewe.

On Saturday morning, we went and did the aerial assault course at a climbing centre built in an old quarry just outside Edinburgh. It was a delicious combination of fantastic fun and leg-trembling terror as you scaled cargo nets and swung on rope ladders suspended 100ft above the ground.

We also made a LOT of egg-based food, on the grounds that Rachel keeps three hens who are all impressively earning their keep. Well, all apart from fat Margot who didn't produce a single egg the entire time I was there... So we had scrambled eggs, quiche, pavlova and home-made mayonnaise. Impressive, non?

I also managed to fit in my running, with Rachel gamely tootling alongside on a bike. It's amazing: Scotland's full of hills!

Sleeping as the world goes by

I am very excited. Tomorrow night I am catching the sleeper train to Edinburgh. I have never caught a sleeper train before.

It leaves at 11 o'clock at night and gets in at 7 o'clock in the morning. I have booked myself a whole compartment, which is a luxury indeed. But not really much more expensive than the price of a normal flight from a sensible airport.

Obviously it's a LOT more expensive than a Ryanair 1p special from nowhere near London to nowhere near Glasgow, but just think of the differences:

Sleeper: Catch the train after work on Thursday. I'm already in central London with a travelcard for the tube, so no additional cost or inconvenience. Get blasted on free cocktails at a work event (it's for new graduates - they'll all be respectful, keen and a bit arselicky until they figure out that I am in no way influential) before weaving my way to the station for a quick shower in the posh Virgin lounge.

Ryanair: Catch a distressingly early flight from "London" Stansted on Friday morning. This would have to involve finding somewhere to stay up in that neck of the woods, as I'd never be able to get there early enough by public transport from home. The later flights, are, inevitably, much more expensive. Stand in security queue for many hours. Sigh.

Sleeper: Wheel my suitcase into my cabin. Unpack my jim-jams. Brush my teeth. Curl up with a book.

Ryanair: Try, and fail, to squeeze suit, laptop, running kit and civvies into 10 kilo hand luggage and therefore pay EXTRA MONEY to check a suitcase into the hold. Probably have half the contents of my handbag confiscated at security.

Sleeper: Have a minion bring me free tea and snacks.

Ryanair: Get into a fistfight over who gets the window seat. Pay £2 for a bottle of water after mine is confiscated at security.

Sleeper: Wake refreshed (hmmm.... not so certain about this bit) and in central Edinburgh. Eat the free breakfast pack brought round by aforementioned minion.

Ryanair: Did you know that the website for Glasgow Prestwick airport doesn't even have a location map on it? This is presumably so you don't find out just how damn far from Glasgow it actually is. Either that or to stop terrorists finding it. What's that you say? Oh dear. Those wily terrorists.

Oh dear. Apparently, according to French intellectuals, jogging is a right-wing activity. I shall have to hang up my shoes and switch to more appropriate activities like drinking red wine and having philosophical debates. Oh, hang on... I do that already!

Well, if you substitute the word "cake" for "philosophical debates", anyway.