By popular demand

The anatomy of a TROLLEY

TROLLEY has three levels, as a proper trolley should.

Level 1
The top level holds the cash box, the two active flasks (hot water and coffee), tea bags (two sorts, if you are lucky), the paper cups and the naughty tray*.

*naughty tray: chocolate bars, Kitkats, flapjacks (commercial, not home-made, sadly) and little plastic tubs of mixed sweeties (jelly sweets, sours, jelly beans etc). Oh, and I think they do plastic tubs of health-giving seeds too, but who cares about that?

Level 2
The middle level, which requires you to stoop and guddle about to pick out a gem, is where the real treasure is to be found. Alongside the spare flasks and milk, you find a plate of individually wrapped jam doughnuts (these always look a little flat, like they may originally have been stacked in a very high pile), and the two CAKE PLATES.

The CAKE PLATES all carry the same style of cake: loaf-shaped cakes cut into nice rectangular slices. There are always about three slices of each type, so you have to be quick if you want to grab your fave. My well-researched comments are:

• lemon drizzle - has little pockets of lemon curdiness in the sponge and a nice icing. Highly recommended
• dundee-style - lots of raisins and big sugar crystals on top. The high fruit content makes this offering feel very virtuous (for a cake).
• ginger - never bothered with this one since my own ginger cake triumph. Plus I like icing, of which this has none.
• carrot - looks promising. I had a bit off someone else's the other day and it was nicely moist.
• coconut - not had it myself. My friend Jo had it by accident when she was gunning for carrot cake. She did not complain.

You have to reach in and steal your own slice using your fingers and a serviette. Slice sizes vary wildly, so some judicious observation from the sidelines pays dividends unless you suspect that your favoured type is under threat from other gluttons. In which case, jump in quick.

Level 3
The bottom level is for dull things like cans of pop, bags of walkers etc. The true trolley connoisseur naturally shuns this snack machine style offering, but the boys go for it in a big way. And not in order to admire the ankles of the trolley lady. Unless they have specialist tastes.

I believe the trolley also harbours fruit of some description, but for some reason I can't immediately bring to mind which level this is located on... Anyway, have you seen the time???