Hell must be something like this

Have just spent two hours in a meeting with one of the most grating personalities I have ever encountered. He (let's call him "Nobby") is a professional Northerner (although I was officially meeting him in his capacity as a business advisor), with a great line in Northern endearments. He scattered these about in a manner he obviously considered charmingly down-to-earth, but which came across as condescending.

Call me humourless, but referring to the female partner as "chuck" and the female director as "petal" seemed a tad belittling to me.

And (see Rach's comments on asymmetrical sweating) when he sat back in his chair and folded his hands behind his head (a frequent manoeuvre, given the "Great Man" image he was striving to project), "Nobby" revealed a single sweat patch under his right armpit only. Probably a result of all that dismissive gesturing.

His way of speaking manages to make him sound like a badly exaggerated character role in a crummy detective drama. He also does a good line in banging the table with each syllable. For example:

"These numbers only came to light once the big man from [Northern Town] showed up."
[lean back in chair, hands behind head, sweat patch a-go-go - prepare for coup de grace:] "They've been RUNNING [drub-drub] RINGS [bang] A-[prod]-ROUND [crash] YOU[plonk]!"

See? He even talks about himself in the third person.
Get back on that bloody M1.

[And no, before you ask, they had NOT been running rings around us. More of his poxy propaganda.]

Seethe seethe