scientific breakthrough

Buoyed by the ongoing success and relevance of the Entertainment & Economy (TM) scale, evidenced almost daily, I am now hard at work on a new formula.

However, I am having trouble with a couple of details.

The formula is supposed to help me work out how many krispy kreme doughnuts (or equivalent measure of roast potatoes) I can consume during a typical week based upon the exercise I do at the weekend (that is, if I still want to fit in my clothes).

The draft version currently looks like this:

(Minutes of exercise + quantity of mud on garments (in grams) ) to the power of (25 minus the hour [24 hour clock] that the exercise commenced)

divided by

mean air temperature during the exercise

But there are a couple of problems at the moment:

1. Although the formula correctly factors in the increased KK potential of exercise commenced very early in the morning, it needs some kind of amendment for Night Orienteering (typical start time, 6 or 7 pm) - an event which (due to its combination of cold, confusion and a sprinkling of abject terror) punches above its weight in reward terms.
2. The temperature weighting helps to straighten out the difference between indoor and outdoor work. But what if I went running in the desert?

Also, I've not found a satisfactory way of factoring in injuries. Major injuries (twisted ankles, pulled muscles etc) which stop you from exercising should immediately wipe out any KK benefit otherwise you'd not fit in your work trousers any more by the end of the week. But small injuries which merely inconvenience (splinters, scratches, nettle stings, blisters etc) should be allowed to increase the KK factor, if only to offset the lack of sympathy you get for them (exhibit A: my legs which are filled with microscopic gorse splinters from last weekend's orienteering).